Sep 11, 2015

No No's and the Commandments of AP Essay Writing



No No No!
AVOID THESE HIGH SCHOOL WRITING HABITS - WRITE IN A MATURE ACADEMIC VOICE INSTEAD
Alot
Lots
Anything
Nothing
Something
Everything
Thing
Bad
Good
Great
Definitely
Very
Really
Extremely
Amazing
Awesome
Interesting
Pretty
Excellent
Get, Got, Gets, Getting, Gotten
Ok, Okay
Show, shows
Awesome
Kind of, kinda
Sort of, sorta
I think, I believe, I feel
I
You
  • immature phrasing - vary your sentence length and style instead
  • incomplete sentences or run on sentences - write carefully
  • numerals less than 3 digits - write out numbers that are one or two digits instead
  • don’t show off- be clear and precise instead
  • don’t start a paragraph with a quote - integrate quotes in the 2nd or 3rd sentence instead
  • don’t use semicolons incorrectly - use them to connect two related complete sentences instead
  • don’t use parenthesis - say it or don’t say it
  • don’t restate the prompt - use the author’s full name and give some historical context instead
  • don’t use filler, fluff, or over generalize - be clear and precise instead
  • don’t be lazy - turn in something that you are proud to have written instead




Is that it?  Is it really that simple?  
No - of course not.  
Here are the commandments.


  • Thou shalt write beyond the second page.
  • Thou shalt write neatly in the ink of the Lord.
  • The prompt is sacred; thou shalt adore and respect it.
  • Thou shalt revere the proper noun.
  • Quote thou with brevity and relevence.
  • Thou shalt make a point in thy opening paragraph.
  • Thou shalt avoid the extremes of sophomoricism and pedantry.
  • Judge not, for thou art judged.
  • Thou shalt embrace complexity with all thy heart.
  • Thou shalt conclude as one of thy Lord’s gymnasts.


You’re welcome :-)

Sample Rhetorical Analysis Body Paragraphs

Remember - these are first drafts and may contain lapses in syntax, however, the analysis is clear.

Please forgive any typos; that would be my bad.

_________________________________________________________________

Chavez’s essay relies on many juxtapositions and contrasts to support his claim of the superiority of nonviolence.  The author consistently contrasts the pitfalls of violence with the benefits that nonviolence creates.  He argues that while resorting to violence causes “many injuries and perhaps deaths” as well as “total demoralization of the workers” nonviolence “has exactly the opposite effect” allowing Chavez and his followers to “attract people’s support” and “gather the support of millions who have a conscience.”  The juxtaposition between violence and nonviolence emphasizes the disparity between the two.  It makes the audience realize that they lose from violence and all that they stand to gain from nonviolence.  Chavez’s contrast between losing and gaining emphatically daws public support to the latter.  

Chavez continues to make contrasts throughout his essays.  In response to his concession that viewing nonviolence “only as a strategy or tactic” leads people “to turn to violence” if it fails, Chavez argues for “militant nonviolence” instead.  This is an oxymoron - whereas militants are associated with conflict and war, Chavez has argued against this throughout his essay.  Chavez’s “militant nonviolence” as he elaborates, is not about conflict - rather it is about movlizing people and protesters to achieve the power of an uprising in a peaceful manner.  Chavez’s juxtaposition of military and peacefulness is telling - it allows the author to demonstrate to the audience the power nonviolent movement can have without calling for violence.  It evokes feelings of anger, fighting, and change in the audience, but connects it to Chavez’s peaceful process, demonstarating the effectiveness of nonviolent protest.  Chavez argues for the effectiveness of nonviolence to the end of his essay; he concludes with a confident statement that nonviolence will prevail us “the rich may have money, but the poor have time.”  Chzvez uses the contrast between rich and poor as a positive reminding his audience of their greatest resource - time.  The author bolsters his audience in a sort of call to action designed to make them realize their resources in the fight against oppression.  By contrasting the rich and poor, Chavez empowers the poor in an uplifting final statement.

Chavez begins his essay recalling the power of nonviolence as demonstrated through Dr. King, and moving on to compare and contrast niolence and non violence.  Through very direct sentences he indicates that nonviolence is more powerful than violence.  While violence leads to “injuries and perhaps death on both sides total demoralization” non violence is “supportive and crucial.”  His contrasting diction from images of deaths and injuries as compared to the wholesomeness of nonviolence helps to convince his listerners about which they would prefer.  Likewise his mentioning of violence as being harmful to both sides helps establish an unbiased character and demonstrates how violence is detrimental to anyone, regardless of his position on civil rights.  He later moves on to once again directly state contrast, “nonviolence has exactly the opposite effect”.  His attachment of words like support, conscinece, and justice to nonviolence has the affect of making it more appealing to the audience and depicting why it is right and effective.

Throughout the passage Chavez uses the plural pronoun “we”.  His repetition of “we are convinced” in his article is appealing in that it is very inclusive.  It does not alienate his readers.  He contrasts the “we” with “those who will see violence as  the shortcut to change.”  He portrays the “we” as a righteous sympathetic people, ones who struggle “cannot be more important than one human life” and “who are not blind to frustration, impotence, and anger.”  By contrasting a compassionate nonviolent people, who are able to comprehend the importance of even one life, to the almost heartless people advocating for violence, the audience is generously included in the side of justice as a foregone conclusion.  This use of plural pronouns is in fact an emotional appeal that prompts the audience towards his side of the argument.

Chavez also juxtaposes the violence vs nonviolence contrasting historical allusions to give more credibility to his argument while portraying peaceful protest in a favorable light to gain support.  Chavez uses Ghandi, a famous and highly respected advocate of nonviolence, to allude to the success peace can bring since Ghandi managed to win India back from an empire.  By directly following that example up with one of a violent movement where poor and helpless people are killed, he portrays the nonviolent movement as highly effective and successful.  To further win the support of his readers, Chavez asserts that millions stand behind the cause of nonviolence implying that nonviolence is most successful because they “attract people’s support” as opposed to demoralization and death.  By using historical examples and obvious contrasts, Chavez manages to portray peaceful protests in a highly favorable light, encouraging many readers to support his cause - one that seems to be successful, safe, and supported by many.

Aug 23, 2015

Essay Grades Triad 1

Update concerning grades for essays #1 and #2:

I will be scoring your Scarlet Letter essays; the grade will go in the gradebook as Essay #1.  All essays must be rewritten.  I will choose one essay at random on September 14.  That essay will be scored and the new score will replace the Scarlet Letter grade in the gradebook for essay #1.

Essays that I will choose from on September 14:

Walt Whitman Argument
Scarlet Letter Analysis
Rhetorical Analysis (as yet undecided)
Thomas Paine Argument

Essay #2 this triad will be a Rhetorical Analysis timed writing on September 16.

Aug 7, 2015

Welcome to 2015-2016 Bulldogs!

Hey guys!  The most helpful part of this blog is the calendar.  Click on the calendar tab above and you will see what I have planned for you.  Plans change occassionally, so don't be mad if you think you are going to have a timed writing and I give you a pop quiz instead.  The calendar is meant to be a very flexible but helpful guide.

The literature section shows you what novels we will be doing each triad.  All novels are available in the HHS library, but only during the triad I have assigned the book.  Other classes have the books when we don't.  I encourage you to buy a used copy each of the books for a dollar or two on Amazon.  I still have my high school copy of The Scarlet Letter and I read it every night before I go to bed.*

Silly Stuff is just that.  I am the funniest person I know.+

Please contact me via email.  It is BY FAR the BEST way to get in touch with me.  I have all work emails pushed to my phone and I will try to respond as quickly as possible; but, remember that if I don't get back to you in time to help with something that is due the next day: you are a problem solver too.  Get off the escalator yourself!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VrSUe_m19FY



msmith2@hemetusd.org


*I'm just kidding.
+JK again! 

Aug 28, 2014

Check out the calendar for upcoming topics covered and test dates.

We are starting the Declaration of Independence now and I expect this unit, The Rhetoric of Revolt and Resistance, to take us into next triad.  I will carefully assess everyone's summer work on September 8 and enter those grades before the triad is over; students will also have the opportunity to retake the rhetorical terms quiz on September 12.  That last week of the triad will be devoted to activities that illuminate The Scarlet Letter.  Those students who did the summer work and have a stamp on their rhetorical terms and dialectical journals have the opportunity to earn 100% of the points on all activities during that week.  Those students who didn't do the summer work can earn up to 75% per the late work policy.

Please contact me with any questions.

Jun 1, 2014

Summer Work 2014

Hello class of 2016.

If you took Honors English at Hemet High last year then you are already signed up to take AP Language and Composition with me next year.  If you did not take Honors English last year then you should have gotten a recommendation from your English teacher to be added to the class list.

Here are some of the requirements for staying on the list:

1. DO THE SUMMER WORK

If you choose not to read The Scarlet Letter and do the dialectical journal assignment you will not be allowed to stay in the class.  If you choose not to look up, find examples of, and explain the examples for each of the 75 rhetorical terms you will not be allowed to stay in the class.  You will receive credit for the journals on the first day of class; and you will be tested on both The Scarlet Letter and the terms during the first week of class.

2. HAVE A GPA THAT SHOWS SUCCESS IN HONORS AND/OR AP CLASSES

I want everyone to be able to take any class they like.  I also believe that you have the right to fail; however, if you have not been successful in Honors or AP classes in the past, and continue to be unsuccessful in my class, you run the risk of not graduating from high school.  If you have a low GPA, you will be dropped from the class.

Do you have questions about the summer work or the class?  Email me over the summer.  I will check email frequently.

Have a great summer and see you in August!

M Smith