Sep 11, 2015

No No's and the Commandments of AP Essay Writing



No No No!
AVOID THESE HIGH SCHOOL WRITING HABITS - WRITE IN A MATURE ACADEMIC VOICE INSTEAD
Alot
Lots
Anything
Nothing
Something
Everything
Thing
Bad
Good
Great
Definitely
Very
Really
Extremely
Amazing
Awesome
Interesting
Pretty
Excellent
Get, Got, Gets, Getting, Gotten
Ok, Okay
Show, shows
Awesome
Kind of, kinda
Sort of, sorta
I think, I believe, I feel
I
You
  • immature phrasing - vary your sentence length and style instead
  • incomplete sentences or run on sentences - write carefully
  • numerals less than 3 digits - write out numbers that are one or two digits instead
  • don’t show off- be clear and precise instead
  • don’t start a paragraph with a quote - integrate quotes in the 2nd or 3rd sentence instead
  • don’t use semicolons incorrectly - use them to connect two related complete sentences instead
  • don’t use parenthesis - say it or don’t say it
  • don’t restate the prompt - use the author’s full name and give some historical context instead
  • don’t use filler, fluff, or over generalize - be clear and precise instead
  • don’t be lazy - turn in something that you are proud to have written instead




Is that it?  Is it really that simple?  
No - of course not.  
Here are the commandments.


  • Thou shalt write beyond the second page.
  • Thou shalt write neatly in the ink of the Lord.
  • The prompt is sacred; thou shalt adore and respect it.
  • Thou shalt revere the proper noun.
  • Quote thou with brevity and relevence.
  • Thou shalt make a point in thy opening paragraph.
  • Thou shalt avoid the extremes of sophomoricism and pedantry.
  • Judge not, for thou art judged.
  • Thou shalt embrace complexity with all thy heart.
  • Thou shalt conclude as one of thy Lord’s gymnasts.


You’re welcome :-)

Sample Rhetorical Analysis Body Paragraphs

Remember - these are first drafts and may contain lapses in syntax, however, the analysis is clear.

Please forgive any typos; that would be my bad.

_________________________________________________________________

Chavez’s essay relies on many juxtapositions and contrasts to support his claim of the superiority of nonviolence.  The author consistently contrasts the pitfalls of violence with the benefits that nonviolence creates.  He argues that while resorting to violence causes “many injuries and perhaps deaths” as well as “total demoralization of the workers” nonviolence “has exactly the opposite effect” allowing Chavez and his followers to “attract people’s support” and “gather the support of millions who have a conscience.”  The juxtaposition between violence and nonviolence emphasizes the disparity between the two.  It makes the audience realize that they lose from violence and all that they stand to gain from nonviolence.  Chavez’s contrast between losing and gaining emphatically daws public support to the latter.  

Chavez continues to make contrasts throughout his essays.  In response to his concession that viewing nonviolence “only as a strategy or tactic” leads people “to turn to violence” if it fails, Chavez argues for “militant nonviolence” instead.  This is an oxymoron - whereas militants are associated with conflict and war, Chavez has argued against this throughout his essay.  Chavez’s “militant nonviolence” as he elaborates, is not about conflict - rather it is about movlizing people and protesters to achieve the power of an uprising in a peaceful manner.  Chavez’s juxtaposition of military and peacefulness is telling - it allows the author to demonstrate to the audience the power nonviolent movement can have without calling for violence.  It evokes feelings of anger, fighting, and change in the audience, but connects it to Chavez’s peaceful process, demonstarating the effectiveness of nonviolent protest.  Chavez argues for the effectiveness of nonviolence to the end of his essay; he concludes with a confident statement that nonviolence will prevail us “the rich may have money, but the poor have time.”  Chzvez uses the contrast between rich and poor as a positive reminding his audience of their greatest resource - time.  The author bolsters his audience in a sort of call to action designed to make them realize their resources in the fight against oppression.  By contrasting the rich and poor, Chavez empowers the poor in an uplifting final statement.

Chavez begins his essay recalling the power of nonviolence as demonstrated through Dr. King, and moving on to compare and contrast niolence and non violence.  Through very direct sentences he indicates that nonviolence is more powerful than violence.  While violence leads to “injuries and perhaps death on both sides total demoralization” non violence is “supportive and crucial.”  His contrasting diction from images of deaths and injuries as compared to the wholesomeness of nonviolence helps to convince his listerners about which they would prefer.  Likewise his mentioning of violence as being harmful to both sides helps establish an unbiased character and demonstrates how violence is detrimental to anyone, regardless of his position on civil rights.  He later moves on to once again directly state contrast, “nonviolence has exactly the opposite effect”.  His attachment of words like support, conscinece, and justice to nonviolence has the affect of making it more appealing to the audience and depicting why it is right and effective.

Throughout the passage Chavez uses the plural pronoun “we”.  His repetition of “we are convinced” in his article is appealing in that it is very inclusive.  It does not alienate his readers.  He contrasts the “we” with “those who will see violence as  the shortcut to change.”  He portrays the “we” as a righteous sympathetic people, ones who struggle “cannot be more important than one human life” and “who are not blind to frustration, impotence, and anger.”  By contrasting a compassionate nonviolent people, who are able to comprehend the importance of even one life, to the almost heartless people advocating for violence, the audience is generously included in the side of justice as a foregone conclusion.  This use of plural pronouns is in fact an emotional appeal that prompts the audience towards his side of the argument.

Chavez also juxtaposes the violence vs nonviolence contrasting historical allusions to give more credibility to his argument while portraying peaceful protest in a favorable light to gain support.  Chavez uses Ghandi, a famous and highly respected advocate of nonviolence, to allude to the success peace can bring since Ghandi managed to win India back from an empire.  By directly following that example up with one of a violent movement where poor and helpless people are killed, he portrays the nonviolent movement as highly effective and successful.  To further win the support of his readers, Chavez asserts that millions stand behind the cause of nonviolence implying that nonviolence is most successful because they “attract people’s support” as opposed to demoralization and death.  By using historical examples and obvious contrasts, Chavez manages to portray peaceful protests in a highly favorable light, encouraging many readers to support his cause - one that seems to be successful, safe, and supported by many.

Aug 23, 2015

Essay Grades Triad 1

Update concerning grades for essays #1 and #2:

I will be scoring your Scarlet Letter essays; the grade will go in the gradebook as Essay #1.  All essays must be rewritten.  I will choose one essay at random on September 14.  That essay will be scored and the new score will replace the Scarlet Letter grade in the gradebook for essay #1.

Essays that I will choose from on September 14:

Walt Whitman Argument
Scarlet Letter Analysis
Rhetorical Analysis (as yet undecided)
Thomas Paine Argument

Essay #2 this triad will be a Rhetorical Analysis timed writing on September 16.

Aug 7, 2015

Welcome to 2015-2016 Bulldogs!

Hey guys!  The most helpful part of this blog is the calendar.  Click on the calendar tab above and you will see what I have planned for you.  Plans change occassionally, so don't be mad if you think you are going to have a timed writing and I give you a pop quiz instead.  The calendar is meant to be a very flexible but helpful guide.

The literature section shows you what novels we will be doing each triad.  All novels are available in the HHS library, but only during the triad I have assigned the book.  Other classes have the books when we don't.  I encourage you to buy a used copy each of the books for a dollar or two on Amazon.  I still have my high school copy of The Scarlet Letter and I read it every night before I go to bed.*

Silly Stuff is just that.  I am the funniest person I know.+

Please contact me via email.  It is BY FAR the BEST way to get in touch with me.  I have all work emails pushed to my phone and I will try to respond as quickly as possible; but, remember that if I don't get back to you in time to help with something that is due the next day: you are a problem solver too.  Get off the escalator yourself!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VrSUe_m19FY



msmith2@hemetusd.org


*I'm just kidding.
+JK again! 

Aug 28, 2014

Check out the calendar for upcoming topics covered and test dates.

We are starting the Declaration of Independence now and I expect this unit, The Rhetoric of Revolt and Resistance, to take us into next triad.  I will carefully assess everyone's summer work on September 8 and enter those grades before the triad is over; students will also have the opportunity to retake the rhetorical terms quiz on September 12.  That last week of the triad will be devoted to activities that illuminate The Scarlet Letter.  Those students who did the summer work and have a stamp on their rhetorical terms and dialectical journals have the opportunity to earn 100% of the points on all activities during that week.  Those students who didn't do the summer work can earn up to 75% per the late work policy.

Please contact me with any questions.

Jun 1, 2014

Summer Work 2014

Hello class of 2016.

If you took Honors English at Hemet High last year then you are already signed up to take AP Language and Composition with me next year.  If you did not take Honors English last year then you should have gotten a recommendation from your English teacher to be added to the class list.

Here are some of the requirements for staying on the list:

1. DO THE SUMMER WORK

If you choose not to read The Scarlet Letter and do the dialectical journal assignment you will not be allowed to stay in the class.  If you choose not to look up, find examples of, and explain the examples for each of the 75 rhetorical terms you will not be allowed to stay in the class.  You will receive credit for the journals on the first day of class; and you will be tested on both The Scarlet Letter and the terms during the first week of class.

2. HAVE A GPA THAT SHOWS SUCCESS IN HONORS AND/OR AP CLASSES

I want everyone to be able to take any class they like.  I also believe that you have the right to fail; however, if you have not been successful in Honors or AP classes in the past, and continue to be unsuccessful in my class, you run the risk of not graduating from high school.  If you have a low GPA, you will be dropped from the class.

Do you have questions about the summer work or the class?  Email me over the summer.  I will check email frequently.

Have a great summer and see you in August!

M Smith

Sep 21, 2013

Final Scarlet Letter Post

Reply to one of the following questions about The Scarlet Letter.

I do actually read all of your comments and most of you are extremely inciteful.

_________________________________________________

Does Hawthorne condone or condemn Hester and Dimsdale in the novel? What are Hawthorne's views of them and their actions?  What are your own?


Because the novel is set before the time in which he is writing, Hawthorne deliberately uses an old-fashioned style with some archaic language.  Do you find this effective or a distraction?  How?


How does Hawthorne describes the scarlet letter itself in the novel.  Why do you think that he describes it in each case?


What does Hawthorne mean by the "black man?"


Where Hawthorne seems to uncritically hold Hester up for our admiration is in her steadfast refusal to name Pearl's father.  Why do you think this is?  Do you share his admiration for this action?


Why do you think Hester repeatedly refuses to stop wearing the scarlet letter?  Why does she refuse to have an identity outside of one that includes the scarlet letter?


What is the difference between the events that happen in the forest as opposed to events that happen in the town?  Are the settings interchangeable?  What about for Dimsdale?


. . . and finally - something we NEVER got around to talking about:


Native Americans make a few brief and mysterious appearances in this novel.  What role do they play?  Why do you think that Hawthorne uses Native Americans in this way?


Reply by Tuesday night - 9/24 @ midnight.


Aug 28, 2013

Socratic Seminar Posts

First of all, all three period's socratic seminars were amazing.  You all participated with respect towards one another and came up with some very interesting, surprising and inciteful discussions. I am very proud of you.  Think of this blog, and each post and comment, as an extension of the classroom.  The same civil tone and mutual respect that we have for one another in the classroom is even more important online.

Reflect on to the Socratic Seminar by adding two comments.

Please put your full name in the title in all comments so that I can give you full credit.

Comment #1 - to the Scoratic Seminar Notes from your period.

Your comment should cover one topic that was addressed in the Socratic Seminar and give your thoughts on it - and - add another topic that you wish had been brought up, but wasn't and your thoughts on that.

Comment #2 - to someone else's comment in a different period.

When you see an interesting thought in a commnet from a student in another period, comment on that comment.  Your comments should stay positive only. Please just give credit where credit is due.



That's it!  Due by Sept 4.

Comment on this post with questions about the process.

Scarlet Letter Socratic Seminar P 5

Favorite Quote

PEARL

P 62, Ch 6

  • Pearl's aspect has infinite variety
  • She had all types of characteristics
Ch 8
  • She is my happiness and fortuve and retribution "She is the Scarlett Letter"
P 47
  • "Speak out the names"  
  • Will we take the Scarlet Letter away?  NEVER
Who is the protagonist of the book?

HESTHER at first but DIMMSDALE at the end
  • D is a priest who is a sinner - that is dynamic
  • Hesther struggles throughout the whole book - it is more her.
  • No - it is Dimmsdale's story told through Hesther
  • Isn't it really Pearl's book?  It doesn't start with Hesther and Dimmsdale getting together - it starts with Pearl's entrance into the society.
  • It is Hesther's story MORE than anyone else's
  • No - it belongs to all three of them together.
  • Pearl is boing told through Hesther too.
  • It is not Pearl's story - - she is a symbol, not the protagonist.
  • Shouldn't the protagonist change throughout the book - - for better or worse?
  • Hesther changes, but Dimmsdale just dies. . . ?
If this is a tragedy, like in Greek Tragedy, the tragic hero has to have a tragic flaw.  What is Dimmsdale's tragic flaw?
  • What killed him?  Not confessing - holding a secret so long that it built up and killed him.
  • He hated himself.  fasting and lashing himself has to be a flaw
  • GUILT - he was holding his hand over his heart
MAN IN BLACK - - 
  • Who is the man in black?  Where does he show up??
  • In the forest - with Mistress Higgins 
  • and he is the one who makes the women all witches
  • Hesther says that if not for Pearl she would write her name in his book in blood
  • Isn't it Chillingsworth - - walking in the semetary?

Scarlet Letter Socratic Seminar p 3

FAV QUOTE:

"my child must seek. . . " p 30
She tries to teach Pearl to think of God as a literal father in place of the real father she doesn't have.

The Public Condemnation in Ch 1.
It told through Hesther - in her own head - very relatable.

Dimmsdale = "Tell us who it was. . . " p 46 "for thy soul's peace and salvation"

  • On the pedestal of shame he asks Hesther to tell because he can't - - she doesn't - - it is an out in the open triumph over evil.
  • D is scared - he is so important and he has so much to lose
  • Capital punishment
  • He wants to keep doing good works first
  • Every man has a right to keep his secrets
  • He does care about H.  He loves her so makes it HER CHOICE
  • He is a coward - - she is much more independent and strong.
  • He was begging for her to tell so that he woulnd't have to
  • He was throwing HER into the spotlight - forcing her to make all the decisions and be strong.
  • Hesther was FREE - - Dimsdale suffered because of all this.
  • BUT he could have told and he didn't He was so LOVED by everyone which made it worse
    • and because of that he never got happiness - pg 83
  • He knows he has to face God on judgement day and his happiness is up to God.
IS Dimmsdale a coward?
  •  tried to tell them in his sermons but it just made it worse - ironic.
  • Chillingworth got retribution from him
  • But all those peole will know on judgement day and he knows that.
An interesting idea is the contrast between Physical Beauty and Physical Deterioration
  • Hesther has nothing to hide and so she has nothing to make her ugly
  • She already admitted it - ironically it was physically visible in her body and so she wasn't destroyed by it.
  • Dimmsdale was hiding it and that's what caused his physical deterioration.
Does Pearl know about Dimmsdale?  that he is her father?
  • D was always in pain - always holding his hand over his heart.
  • p 105 - "Stand with mother and me. . ." ". . . only on judgement day"
What about p 63 with D twitching and screaming in his sleep.  That's how Chillingsworth knows because of the A on D's chest.

Was Ch really a Dr?  
  • He learned his practice from natives = demonic = intense evil!
  • wanted revenge so badly - that makes him so cool!!
  • Ch's vengence was Captain Ahab-like - - he was obsessed!
  • Was going to follow D around as a ghost if he had to.
  • He kept D from salvation and that was his revenge.
Dimmsdale was actually really strong
  • The Scarlet Letter on D's chest was actually the real Scarlett Letter from the title.
  • The real Scarlett Letter is a secret - and so the title is acutally a big secret.
  • EVERYONE has a secret hidden Scarlett Letter that they hide from the world
What is up with Pearl?
  • She is not a typical puritan child.
  • H = "I will live by these ideals so that Pearl doesn't have to" she is thinking this. . .
  • Almost like Adam and Eve - - Pearl is left behind in paradise with the angels - she is the only innocent
  • always described as "elf-like" "not human" "angel"
  • from the Bible - "Pearl of great price"
  • Heaven is available to her - - she is free as if she had not bitten the apple
  • H thought Pearl was given by God "as a punishment" or "as perfect"
  • She's a weird kid - - curious, different, represents the next generation
Pearl's relationship with the A?
  • doesn't know what it means
  • she wants to be like her mom
  • loves that her mom is different from everyone else
  • doesn't like Dimmsdale - - does that have to do with the A?


Scarlet Letter Socratic Seminar P. 2

UTOPIA! - -


  • and yet the first things built were a semetary and a prison
  • semetary = death
  • prison = sin
  • and all this on "virgin soil" how strange
This could all be foreshadowing that Dimsdale and then Hesther die and are buried in the same semetary.
We liked Ch 1 right away because of the details and description

Hesther is described as being so beautiful - - she is a very pretty woman and so it seems like we expect sin from her because of her beauty


  • tall
  • dark 
  • glossy abundant hair
  • regularity of features
  • deep black eyes
It is her fault that the sin happened?  That is NOT FAIR.

But when she got out of jail she was described as really grey and the A was the most beautiful thing about her.  The letter A was exagerated in its beauty.

Just like us today - we always just remember what people do wrong.

A = stood for Adultary, but later people couldn't remember. . . they thought it stood for Able

The reflection of the A in the book symbolizes how Hesther reflects on the lesson of the A

p. 76 - "Badge teaches me daily. . ."  

The Scarlet Letter sounded so pretty, beautiful and elaborate - - Why did she make it taht way?  She accepted her shame and sin. . . ?

But she tried to cover it up with the baby in Ch 1 - on the scaffold.

in Ch 2 she blushes but shows the A proudly.

Pearl is a symbol of Hesther's sin and punishes her daily - tortures her more than the letter A and is "crazy"!

Pearl = Pearl of great price - purchased with her only treasure.

She loved Pearl for another reason, though - - 
  • Pearl and the Scarlet Letter taught her a lesson
She wasn't happy with her 1st husband but found TRUE LOVE with Dimsdale.
  • She STAYED in the town to OVERCOME - to get to heaven eventually.  
She couldn't hide - she had to PAY for her sin - - to make up for it. . . ?

WHY DIDN'T HESTHER RUN AWAY??
  • Guilt - - just like Dimsdale's sin eventually 'got to him' Hesteher cannot hide from God anywhere.
  • Not that easy - - everyone knows everyone in Puritan times. It would have been too hard to start over somewhere else.  We all stay in Hemet after all!
  • Eventually she owned it - - in the end she showed that she wasn't ashamed
  • The letter was beautiful just like her.  She knew that the letter was hers - - she couldn't run away from it.
  • The letter was part of her - Even Pearl loved it.  It was all that she saw of her mother.  
Does Pearl even know what the latter means?
  • H couldn't tell Pearl.
  • Pearl wouldn't think that H was perfect anymore.
  • H couldn't handle it if Pearl knew about her sin and thought less of her.
SECRETS

Why did Chillingsworth keep Dimsdale's secret?
  • It was a way to punish Dimsdale - to torture him.
  • When and how did Pearl find out what the A really stood for?
  • If H told it would have been a humbling experience.
  • Pearl was angry because all this time everyone knew it but her
  • Don't want to live in the shadow of sin
  • I would have left too.
Pearl was not a bad kid - - odd, but not bad.


Jun 25, 2013

Extra Credit

Don't forget about the EXTRA CREDIT novel as well.

You may take a test on Daisy Miller by Henry James.

The test will be given during the first week of school.  Have fun!

Summer Work

The Summer Work page now has a copy of the summer work instructions that were given out at the end of the year.

Also - Check out Literature for an example of a dialectical journal, and the Columnists page for instructions on SOAPSTone.

May 27, 2013

Summer Work

Hi guys. Summer work will be available in your English classes. If you like, you can come by my room and pick up a copy as well. If you do not pick up your summer work or contact me via email you will be dropped from the class. Comment on the Summer Work page on this blog with questions - - I will be traveling this summer, but will be checking this blog every few days. Happy reading! ~Smith

May 13, 2013